Hellooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy New Year to everyone an all that jazz. First post in over a month! Have been pretty slack lately documenting my time in Kanada. Part of this has been due to me not having a PC so readily available and also with i guess not as much going on lately. I now have a job! Kinda shit really but it had to happen sooner or later. It feels like the party is over i guess. My bunk buddy Damon is in Whistler so am kind of making a life for myself here, although i have seen him a bit.
Xmas i spent in Whistler, rolling around drunk in like 6ft of snow! Its so crazy there. Right in the mountains, 100km north of Vancouver Whistler is the top ski & snowboard resort....for dudes! Rich dudes! Nice place though. The drive on the bus is great, on the way back we saw Eagles! No- not the famous redneck rock group but the birds! Awesome.
Very beautiful landscapes there. Have taken photos on my camera phone so when i buy a USB lead thingy i can snap away and post pictures straight to here. Have good pictures of a snowball fight in Whistler village.
In the meantime, to whet your appetites, here are pictures my good friend Joss took when we visited Lynn Valley Park in North Van. Joss is French!- but dont hold that against him!

The park is very nice, we went there when it was raining but t'was still swell. In some places you can get wild bears around and salmon in many of the rivers. At times i felt like i was in the film Deliverance and was waiting for some rednecks to come and rape us!
Ahh, the intrepid traveller! This is the suspension bridge at Lynn Valley. Its pretty high up, down below is a river and loads of rocks. Was scary as it wobbles around alot. there is a bigger bridge like this over the other side of the mountain at Capilano Park. Unfortunatly you have to pay to go there where as this park was free. This shit aint interesting.
Anyway, we walked around and eventually as it got dark we took a wrong turn out of the other end of the park and ended up on some road which was just used for a construction site. It was raining and cold and we didnt know where the fuck we were but this nice bloke gave us a lift to a bus stop which took us home to our warm beds and a nice cup of cocoa! FIN

The past few weeks i have been visiting the UBC (thats University of British Columbia to all you working tax payers out there) radio station Citr FM . I hope to get a slot here spinning the wheels of steel, inflicting my tastes in music on Canada. Its a very cool station with all kinds of independent music. Check it out at www.citr.ca
More on that later.
Its kind of late now, i have work early tomorrow. Im gonna watch The Thing before i go to bed which is an awesome movie. Also i just got off the phone with Damon and we were talking about taking another trip into Seattle with the car. We want to visit the Overlook hotel from The Shining which is located i think in north Oregon or someplace just west of Washington. Not that far really. We may stay there, that would be so awesome. room 237!
Also the Twin Peaks cafe is near Seattle and alot of the locations were filmed in Washington so that would be cool to visit.

Anyway, next post some more pictures and i will give u the lowdown on the coffee phenonemon in Canada and how much i hate my job!
Bon Nuit!
xxxxx

A tramp finding lunch amongst the garbage. yay!I live right by here
Anyway, i will add more stuff very soon.

COMING SOON: ROAD TRIP - A RETROSPECTIVE

Hello people! First post in a while. Has been pretty busy for me and havent had much access to a computer. Been job hunting for bloody ages, traipsing around Vancouver with my cv. Nightmare. Have found a job in a coffee shop downtown. Its a start i guess. The past 3 weeks i have been living in the downtown area often referred to by the locals as the neighbourhood from hell! My place is just on the edge by Hastings and Main. Its a rough place, the poorest in all of nORTH America. Colourful.
The area is plagued by junkies, low lifes and general dregs of society. Its not really a hostile place, just very depressing. Have only a week left there before i move into somewhere better.
There are a few bars there, the kinds of places Bukowski would be seen drinking in.
Inside my place its all pretty new, not bad really. the people are cool. My room is a bit of a box however, the view from my window being a brick wall. Nice.
So apart from job hunting i have been reading alot (nothing else to do a at home) - Hemmingway, Bukowski, Philip K Dick. Nothing but dead guys for company.

Went to the university radio station and have training there in a few weeks. Hopefully you may be able to listen to me on the radio soon!

Shit guys. On my own in the big city now! Back at the Cambie. Not much happening on the posting front so apologies to my readers. The days have been a blur of snow and rain, trudging around with maps and bits of paper in the pocket looking for a place to live and a job. Have an interview for a cd shop tomorrow and might be living in the lovely Gastown area!
I will have more postings soon i promise, when things pick up. Watch this space kids and kiddies.....

HOMEWARD BOUND

After kind of having had exhausted ourselves and gorged on greasy burgers for too long, it was time to head back north to Vancouver. Here are some pics of our ascent through the midwest via such exciting places as Salt Lake City and Boise.

This is Utah.
Many a box factory to be found here.
This is Idaho.
Gotta love that Union Seed!
They sure know how to name places here!
Next time on Road Trip: Will Damon and Henry make it through the last leg of the journey? Will they be saved from the clutches of the evil hick farmer and his box factory? Just who is that strange man with no thumbs and eyebrows on his cheeks and why is he looking at me like that? Stay tuned folks for more misadventure!

BIG HOLE IN GROUND!
Welcome to The Grand Canyon. Or as the French say, Le Grande Canyon. Was pretty impressive, the strange rock formations and the sheer size of the damn thing. Unfortunatly i didnt get to fulfill my dream of urinating over the edge. Too many tourists you see, swarming around the lookout points with their cameras. Also: $25 to see the damn thing! Wrong! Anyway, enough of my complaining. It was a neat view.












The obligatory tourist shot!

So many great sunsets, photos don't really do it justice.

The Hoover Dam- Water and stuff. Our windscreen needs cleaning
Some great views driving through Nevada and Arizona. Route 66
Union Pacific Railroad on the hill. These trains are awesome, like 2 miles long.

GETTING OUR KICKS ON ROUTE 66One of the coolest things ever was this little stop tucked away on Historic Route 66. Like a time warp preserved from a bygone era, it was like the America we were looking for. I kept expecting Leatherface to pop out from somewhere! The toilets were really clean too!

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

Actually I take that back, don’t viva Las Vegas. The place chewed us up and spat us out. Ho ho, they saw us coming. Las Vegas is a crazy place. You have to see it. Just leave your wallets at home and you might survive more than we did which was 1 day. 14 hours we were in those damn casinos. Men have been broken in those places, broken and left to die. Seriously though it was an experience, a rollercoaster ride through dizzying highs and terrifying lows. Luckily really I didn’t come off too bad. Sure I am down a bit in the end, but I did win a few and for a while WE were fucking Vegas, not the other way round. Somehow things got crazier towards the end…the drinks were ALL FREE, which was kind of good but bad. Damon put $400 with me $100 on the roulette table, black or white. It was scary shit. There were some serious bets going down…it was a crazy moment. Black Jack, Texas Hold Em, Roulette, 3-card poker. We both lost some in the end. Hightailed it out of there the next morning with our tails between our legs. In the end everybody looses. Nobody is happy until they have lost it all. Now let us never speak of it again.
I do like Las Vegas though; it is just beyond tacky, beyond grandiose, beyond most things that I have seen. A kind of decadence that exists nowhere else. The hotels are immense: A giant pyramid, replicas of cities like Paris, Venice, New York. Rollercoasters going through the hotels and outside, just crazy massive shit. Sex everywhere, and the lights!….huge billboards, neon and sparkle everywhere. In fact on the way, driving through the desert at night we could see the glow of Vegas in the sky about 100 miles away. It is just awesome. This whole massive spread of lights bang in the middle of the desert.
Unfortunately I do not have photos, we were to busy in the bloody casinos! However there I shot a cool video of the place as we came don the strip for the first time. Awesome shit.
Thers maybe a whole bunch of stuff that I have left out, like the lion in the MGM grand, but it is late and im trying to type in the freezing cold van, my hands no longer with feeling….goodnight

Cool rocks on the highway people have painted. This one was especially spooky.








Border crossing going into different parts of Mexico. The first one we came to was out of nowhere driving at night through this desert with all these barrels on fire and armed guards who wearched all our luggage for guns and drugs.









Jebus! What a funny sight. This is in fact a massive statue of Jesus on a hill by the coast that i think acted as a lighthouse. There was a big light on his head that you cant see. This photo was the best we could get as it was too dark and we couldnt get a good vantage point. We originally drove past it when it was light but when going to take a picture, Damon realised he had left his bag with his camera, laptop and passport in a supermarket so we had to drive 50 miles back to get it. luckily the stuff was still there but driving back it was too dark.

MEXICO: TITTIES AND BEER

Wow, what a nuts couple of days its been. We are now on our way back up North via the Grand Canyon from which we are 50 or so miles from, hiding out in a motel watching Futurama.
Mexico was ok, although we were quite glad to have gotten out of there. Its not really a bad place..oh wait, it is a bad place. But we had fun fun fun! Titty bars and Tequila!
From Ensenada we went further south to the East coast of Baja to a village called San Fillipe. The drive through the desert was pretty scary. Just all this desolate waste land, full of coyotes and scorpions. This aint the place to break down! There were pretty cool rocks though all painted up. It gets pretty eerie, all the landscape: dead tires on the side of the road, piles of old cars and junk and run down makeshift shacks dotted around. I was worried about bandits on the highway with big ponchos and gun belts. Mexican people are really very warm and friendly although in some places i think that it is pretty dodgy to be walking around at night. Especially being white and obviously a tourist. Mexicali was pretty darn sketchy. Pretty smelly also. I have never in my life smelt a place that bad. It was like melted hog fat or the smell of some rendering plant. All over the town it was the same. Just this rotten smell pervading the air. I think the locals must have been used to it or something. Needless to say, for some reason we stayed there for 2 days.
Coming across the border into Mexico was fine, straight through, but getting back into the U.S. was a bloody nightmare! About 3 hours we queued up, in the heat. Cars of angry Mexicans trying to get across into American soil, into freedom! Viva Mehico! Down with the filthy capitalist American dogs! die infidel!!
um..excuse me, got carried away. So yeah, we waited ages driving in line, 2 lanes i might add which was silly and made it all so much slower. The guys at the gate where asking pointless questions like "what job do i have? whats my favorite colour" etc. Instead of searching us they asked if we had any drugs or guns. how polite. Now, the guys at the cross country borders got things done. They had machine guns and everything. ....Glad to get out of Mexico.... glad to get out.

HOLLYWOOD! Where everybody is in love and the streets are paved with gold!

So, here we are in Mexico, i dont know how many days it is into the trip. Been a few since i last posted. Am in an internet cafe in Ensenada, Baja Mexico. Really hot here. Hot and dry...and poor. cheap though which is good. last night we got a motel for $35 American dollars. about 7 pounds each for all you English. Wasnt too bad a place either- no roaches!
Anyway, last night during the drive here i wrote a load of stuff about LA and the last few days, all on another computer. I cant be bothered to reiterate all that stuff and boreyou all with "we went here, we went there etc" (what am i? Jack Kerouac??) hehe seriously tho, i will just give u guys a run down of the last few days of events:
Saturday night in LA was jokes. Went to a club on Sunset Blvd. This is apparently where Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton hang out. In fact we tried to get into one of those A list clubs but to no avail. There were paparazzi guys hanging outside with al the beautiful people. Theres me turning up with my pastey skin and beer gut.....hey ladies! Well we did get into some club down the road. loads of buff guys, plastic people, expensive drinks .($10 Gin and Tonic!).....about the drinks....they are sometimes expensive in a club...but! you actually get a massive shot. see, they dont measure them out, so often you are really getting a double.
Some girls we met bought us chili dogs! My first one in fact. Was a big pile of mess. Not really very nice, but we were drunk and hungry. LA clubs.
Sunday we drove around and went to look at the Hollywood sign which has been made really difficult to get to. We took pictures of it which i will post next chance i get.(theyre on damons laptop.)

Lets see.....Monday! Now 2 weeks into the trip. 2 weeks of sleeping in a smelly van, in dodgy carparks and illegal spaces...
on this scorching hot day we went to Universal studios, did the tour with the earthquake and jaws ride which you have probably seen on TV. that was kind of stupid but fun to seeall the same. I felt like a schmuck riding around in that tram with all these happy snappers. Middle Americans with thick accents and old leathery skin. Probably called George and Ira or something. Anyway, Univeral was good, even if it was touristy. Interesting seeing the film lots and set pieces. they were filming Desperate Housewives there and we got to see the set. Pics of the tour to come.
Tuesday was even better, we left LA and went to Orange County (California!!! Here we coooommmmee uh uh uh ome* theme from the OC) After having had a taste for roller coasters the previous day, we went to Knotts Farm theme park which had the most awesome and scary roller coasters ever. We rode them like 7 or 8 times each. I was pretty sick by 6 o clock. There was one where your legs dangle down. its so high and has like 6 loops. Insane at the front.
Also another one which accelerates at 0-80 kmph in under 2 seconds then goes up 250 ft, down to a vertical drop. Awesome fun.
Yesterday was ok. After spending the night in Newport (where the OC is supposedly set) we headed into San Diego down the road. The last city before Mexico border.
Newport was a strange place. Very affluent. But boring. I didnt see any Marrisas or Summers, just old ladies with collegen implants, jogging with their little poodles. Shops for the rich and bored. Nice Yachts though, if you go in for that sort of thing.
We knew it was time to get the hell out when looking for a pack of cigarettes, some guy drove past and yelled at me to get my haircut. The bloody cheek! He was probably some retired army guy. Twat.
So thats that and here i am in Mexico. Crosssed the border yesterday at Tijuana, like regular fugitives escaping from the law. Damon left his laptop bag in a supermarket and realised this when we were 60 km away, heading for Ensenada. Its a long story but it was thanks to Jesus that we got it back. I'' ll tell about it later.
thats a long post! Im gonna do the offski, but will post the new pics i have soon.
A riva derchi! or whatever they say in Mexico. Beuno! Ola something somethingxxx

DAY 11

IN L.A.:::Ended up getting a motel because we’re tired of smelling. Damon has been ill, some kind of food poisoning. He was pretty sick the poor laddie. Am in the room now, about to check out and hit the streets of L.A. Had a really bad dream last night and awoke screaming. Have not had a nightmare in years; it was so vivid, something about being schizophrenic. It was just really disturbing.

Its now 8pm, am sitting in a café outside on Hollywood Blvd. Walked down the street earlier today, checking out the stars on the sidewalk and the famous footprints of the stars. Loads of tourist shops selling little Oscars and really bad t-shirts. Drove up Mullholland Drive, (where David Lynch’s hilarious hit comedy was set) for a bit and had a look out over the Hollywood Hills. For a place where loads of rich stars live they sure do have shit roads – potholes everywhere!

To the right is a view from Mullholland Drive.

We also drove around Laurel Canyon which is where Frank Zappa used to reside and is the home of The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen (his studio). His family still live there i believe, although i don't know which house.



The Hoffmeister! A man of greatness.


Humphrey Bogart's footprints in the concrete outside the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd.

DAY 10

Left Frisco today, heading south down 101 towards L.A. Before we left downtown we drove down Lombard St, which is famous for its bendiness. Were pretty cool, some steep hills there with great views. Had a quick visit to Ames NASA Exploration Centre, which was a little visitor centre next to their research place just outside of the city. Damon bought NASA socks. Now we are on highway 18 heading to Santa Cruz, Beach Boys on the stereo, Surfin’ USA. Unfortunately it is starting to rain.
Later….
Darkness has fallen; we are now 50 or 60 miles from L.A. Cruising past palm tress and neon down the highway. Had a hair raising moment back a few miles when the accelerator became unhooked and stopped working. Luckily the brakes were, and we pulled off of the freeway near a gas station. Kind of amusing if not terrifying. We thought the van was a goner but fortunately Damon fixed it and we were soon on our way. 2 highway patrol guys pulled up on their bikes asking questions. We seriously thought we were screwed for a while. Anyway back on the road now just the apprehension of L.A. looming in my mind. Driving into the jaws of death…
Today was a nice drive. We headed down back on the Pacific Coast Highway. Really beautiful, especially the windy Cliffside roads by the sea. Santa Cruz was cool. A little surfer town that seemed really picturesque. Next was Monterey Bay famous for its Pebble Beach Golf Club apparently. Had a little walk along the beach there, dipped our toes in the Pacific. Next on the road was Big Sur, also on the coast but surrounded by forests. Kerouac wrote a book called Big Sur and we also drove past the Henry Miller memorial library. So much to see and do here, but so little time.
Right now it has suddenly gotten rather foggy. It keeps doing that every now and then, just for a few miles until it suddenly clears.
More stuff to say later im sure. Its usually when im drunk I am most inspired to write stuff. Must remember to make notes at these times. It is sometimes the little details that are the best bits of the trip. Just silly little things.
Its like driving over the Golden Gate Bridge. Its was like “Oh, we have driven across the Golden Gate Bridge.” But sometimes the most inspiring moments can come to you when doing something as simple as drinking cheap gin in a bar or eating big kahuna burgers.

PICTURES OF FRISCO

This is the sign for Jack Kerouac St which runs up the side of the City Lights Bookstore. I have a picture the Haight Ashbury sign on my phone which i left in the car. oh well


This sign has a ladies bum! how rude!
this is from Vesuvio - a cool bar. Had a nice pint of Guiness in there, they actually left it to settle which they havent been doing in most places.



BRING ON THE DANCING GIRLS!

ON THE ROAD

Wednesday now, nearly 5pm in San Francisco. Was Halloween last night and it was crazy. Both of us not feeling our best chilling in our van down Fishermans Wharf overlooking the bay. I need a cigarette. Last night I finished the last packet of my duty free tobacco – has lasted me about 5 weeks which is not bad I guess. Maybe I should give up, seeing as how I cannot smoke in most places anyway.
Halloween in Frisco was absolutely nuts. I think we had arrived here at the right time. At about 9pm Damon and I set out for Castro St where there was the big annual Halloween parade in which everyone dresses up and goes nuts in the streets. Was really funny. People had done some really good costumes and the streets were heaving with Mummies, Zombies and all kinds of fancy dress.
We ended up in this crazy gay bar where we proceeded to get trashed. After many G and t’s Damon was finally sick in the club and we had to leave. He also had some old man lechering after him and trying to stroke his leg, which I found hilarious.
We stumbled round the city and 2 in the morning looking for Fishermans wharf to sleep in the car. Walking for hours was pretty sketchy. It was like a maze, just couldn’t find our way out of the city. Block after block of hills were at every turn offering us no way out.
…..So we got a cab.

San Fran is a scary place. A hostile place. Don’t get me wrong I like it and it’s defiantly worth a visit. I mean ive hardly seen any of it really, its so big. It just seems that living in a car in this place is really not too much fun. The city is not really car friendly. We have spent hours just driving, looking for a place to park and sleep that is both safe and where we are not going to get moved on by the Police. It feels like we are not supposed to be here, living in our van like a pair of rascals. Also I haven’t showered for a good few days (luckily in Seattle the girls we befriended let us shower in their block) and im sure a good shave wouldn’t go amiss. Unfortunately in San Fran we haven’t really made any kind of friend. It just seems like an anonymous city. I’m sure to live here would be different, there’s certainly lots to do.
Yesterday day we went to Haight Ashbury to find us some hippies to drop out with. Unfortunately we were 40 years too late. The only remnants of the age being really awful Patchouli scented shops selling tie-dye shirts and hemp bags etc.
We did however find some cool thrift stores. I bought a sweater, some cool trousers (or pants), and a funny 70s blazer. Some awesome places. Also the day before we went to the famous City Lights bookstore where some of the beats used to hang out. They even have a Kerouac St running alongside it as well as a cool bar called Versuvio which is where all the hip cat daddy-o’s used to hang.
So that’s Frisco for now, I think we are leaving soon to head further down. Theres a bit more stuff I wanna see – Lombard St, Alcatraz (which you can see just round the corner from here) but I don’t think we have the time or the money really. I’ve caved in, Gonna get some smokes.